I was browsing a gay social networking site when I came across this headline. It said that one must be able to satisfy his partner in order to be truly happy in life.

What was that supposed to mean? I thought of sending this guy a message, or a really violent reaction to be exact, but hey, there had been a lot of similar hair-raising headlines before this one. So instead of being unproductive, I should take this time to collect some headlines that really blew me out of my senses.

“Guys, back off! I’ve been hurt too much already. Here’s my number 09***-***-****.” – I messaged this guy and pointed out that he is self-contradicting. He deleted his number afterward.

“No conversations to those with no face pictures, and I don’t have one. My body is enough.” – If his rule applies to him, no one should be sending him a message.

“Wanna have some fun? Just joking, I’m not that kind of person.” – Jokes are really half-meant.

“I’m in love with myself and I want to find guys who are willing to have sex with me.” – There are more narcissistic guys in there, but I have to say that this is the most blatant one.

“Just hanging out and looking for somebody hell worthy of a time to make life worth miserable.” – Just what is he trying to say?

“Hi, what we are doing? Bye.”- I don’t know, but it made me laugh.

“It’s not easy to be born a man but it’s too hard to live like a real man. Relationship is the greatest approdishock.” – Aphrodisiac, anyone?

“Surviving the mind field out there.” – He must have meant mine field. But if he really meant mind field, he must be a really stupid guy, perhaps a troglodyte from the early periods of the uncivilized society.

“Hi, this is ******* from Baguio City. I’m just here to gain friends. It’s a boring life, work and house only. For security reasons, I cannot post my pictures, but here’s my Friendster account: *****@*****.com.” – But he is willing to share more than pictures.

“Straight doing unstraight stuff.” – Then you are not straight.

“I am not here for sex, I am here for friends. Don’t bother me if your intention is to have sex because I am not interested. But I go for sex.” – So is he or is he not after sex?

“Hi! Anybody there? Allow access to recalcitrant verminous annelid, hippopotomonstrosesquidalean as well.” – He must have copied it from some trivia page.

“My thalamus dictates that I’m emotionally unstable but I’m happy that my hypothalamus releases natural opiates.” – A Nursing student who is trying to show that he is studying his lessons.

I would have to say that I edited these headlines to maintain the integrity of my blog. Anyway, what you say can really reflect the contents of your head. In journalism, the headline says it all. If you make a bad statement for yourself, then you are sure to make a laughing-stock out of yourself. This is not to say though that all the guys in that site are dumb. There are a few exceptions, and the rest are about banalities, picture exchange, and of course, sex.

So what am I doing there? I am still hoping to chat with someone really interesting and be a real exception.

During our training, our batch was asked to participate in an activity wherein we would have to collect the first impressions that each of us gave from all our fellow batchmates. As always, there were the usual smart, serious, and other words that bear similar meanings. However, I was surprised to find out that there were also a number of people who saw me as a nice, friendly, and even a jolly person.

This must be the effect of not having socialized with others for quite a while, thanks to my previous job that required me to sit in front of the computer, type in your thoughts, and talk to yourself. The ultimate reason why I went back to the call center industry is because I felt like I needed to meet new people and expose myself outside the comfort of our home. And yes, I must be getting what I want.

Before, I used to be the snob lurking on the outer circle, but now, I am a part of a good group. I must say that I am fortunate enough to be a part of a batch that has both good and sensible people in it. But by some rather expected twist of fate, I was pulled out of the batch due to medical reasons.

Of course, I am so pissed off. I still have a chance to make it back if the required tests turn out to be negative, so I tried to think positively. But I will be deferred to the next batch if ever the results would declare me fit to work, and I can’t bear the thought of leaving some people from my batch. In addition to that, it would be like starting back at square one. To make matters worse, I would be joining the new batch on their fourth day, wherein I would have to put in extra effort to adapt.

I was rather dismayed because I was really starting to like my current, or should I say my previous, batch. However, the attending physician told me that with the personality that I have, I am sure to gain new friends in the upcoming batch.

I really don’t know, but I think my ears are fooling me.

After I resigned from a call center six months ago, I swore never to return to that industry. But oops, I am back. I just got hired a few days back. I just finished the dreaded orientation today, and tomorrow, our batch will officially start the training.

Nothing surprised me but myself. I was more sociable than my usual mood. I was not acting like a bitch, and I was not hatching plans of intimidation. In an objective point of view, my batchmates are better than the ones that I mingled with in the previous call center that I worked for. They are friendlier, and there are less hypocrites as far as my current assessment of the team is concerned.

But when I went inside the training room, I could not shake off the feeling of dread, especially when I sat on one of those ergonomic chairs. However comfortable such a chair is, sitting on one for at least eight hours a day can be traumatizing. I found myself controlling the fear that was starting to set in by pushing away the bad memories that I had from the previous call center that I worked for. I am not saying that it is that bad. It has something more to do with me than anything else.

During those times, I was sick and I was struggling hard to juggle my time between school and work. It was a nightmare, and I wouldn’t want to go down that road again. But now, I am just a plain employee, so maybe I could make the most out of this new call center experience.

I just hope that my medical history would not interfere.

Not one, not two, but three people stared at me in awe as they read out to me not once, not twice, but thrice, with an additional flurry of hand gestures on the third attempt, the word that I wrote on the field “position/job title.”  Is it that incredible for people to see someone applying for a Postal ID who earns his living with words?

I wouldn’t have gone with all the horror of getting this not so special ID if I didn’t lose all my identification cards, which I might write about sooner or later. I don’t have the guts yet to do that as of this moment because it entails a series of embarrassing events. Sorry for the digression, but as I was saying, this Postal ID caused me some indignation, which I was not really able to vent out due to lack of sleep and the looming financial crisis that I soon will experience in the next few weeks.

I was just my ordinary self when I went out for this ID. Actually, I am still wearing the same shirt as of this time. I am just wondering what was so unconvincing with what they saw in me that found themselves verifying the veracity of that little piece of information on my application form.

Okay, I could have misled these people. What I wrote on that short blank was the word “Writer.” Maybe I should have written it with the word “Freelance” because that’s what I really am, but I didn’t want to complicate matters. Or maybe I should have just contented myself with “Independent Contractor” because that’s basically the same, only broader. Or I should have just put what I really wanted to be, a “Technical Writer,” but I would have some explaining to do, of which I had not the energy to divulge in to. Or I should have just spelled it out with a lower w, but I don’t think they would have noticed the difference between a Writer and a writer.

That’s it, they underestimated me just as I am underestimating them.

I like writing. This is why I never thought that I would grow so tired of it. After almost six months, I somehow managed to support myself with the small money that I make with writing. However, instead of me growing and honing my skills, I am doing otherwise. I am actually constipated by it.

There are even times that writing caused some of my minor anxiety attacks. This is because I am usually forced to write about things that I have no interest of. Furthermore, I need to write to match the comprehension level of the audience, which means I have to write like an ordinary person.

Yes, I have written for a more or less stupid audience. I once thought that being a freelance writer is something that I can be proud of, despite the word freelance being attached to the job title. Recently, I find myself squirming whenever I think of myself as one.

I would still like to write, but I don’t want to end up hating the thing that I really enjoy doing. I also like reading, but writing has been eating up my time even up to this moment. With that, I think that the best way to fix this matter is to stop writing for money. I should quit my so-called job once I find a replacement. The question now is, what should I do next?

I left the call center industry after I graduated, but after the loss of my phone and the want for a new notebook, something is telling me to go back. I should see the turn of events tomorrow. It is a critical day for me. I could turn the way things are going for me, or further sink into obscurity.

While I was working on something at past 4 AM, I thought of watching all the 19 opening credits of the reality TV show Survivor. Call me a rabid fan, but what can I do? I really am a sucker for this show.

However, I cannot really call myself a hardcore fan because I missed some seasons, which are Borneo (1), The Australian Outback (2), Vanuatu (9), Guatemala (11),  Panama (12), Fiji (14), and China (15). There are also some seasons wherein I missed a lot of episodes, and these are Africa (3) and Palau (10). However, the rest of them were followed with raving interest.

Marquesas (4) was a disaster. Paschal would have won had it not been for a tiebreaker that consisted of drawing lots. Thailand (5) was rather boring. I didn’t like alliances based on tribe loyalty. The Amazon (6) was spectacular thanks to Rob, the first official great strategist. Although I was then rooting for the deaf Christy, who ended up at Final Six, the season was still a great one.

Pearl Islands (7) was twisted. I really liked the idea of giving the outcasts a chance to get back in the game. All Stars (8), was also great mainly because of the Mogo Mogo tribe composed of Shii Ann, Kathy, Jenna, Lex, Colby, and Richard, but I think there was something wrong with the casting. Vecepia and Brian should have been there since they are previous winners instead of Rudy and Tom. Cook Islands (13) is my favorite. I liked the idea of having four tribes that were divided according to race. The Final Tribal Council was also nerve-wracking, because both Yul and Ozzy were so deserving of the title.

Micronesia (16) was hilarious, thanks to Erik who gave away his immunity necklace and ended up being voted out. Gabon (17) starred my favorite player ever, Ken. It was just sad to see his strategy fall apart when he was caught in his tangle of alliances.  Tocantins (18) is just okay. At least it was not that boring thanks to Coach.

The current season is in Samoa (19), and it is a promising one. The first episode is enough to get you hooked, and this can be attributed to perhaps the most sinister of all villains, Russell. The Tribal Councils are always heated, and these are what I really want from a Survivor episode. I just hope that the next season, which is also set in Samoa and which will feature returning players, will be a great one too.

I do not know why am I talking about this.

If you cannot control your body from cavorting itself every after 15 seconds or so just to be able to get that sleeping position that would lift your senses off to nowhere, stand up. Go to the kitchen and cook a pack of instant noodles. Fix yourself with a cup of coffee. Go back to your room holding the bowl of noodles and the cup of coffee with one hand while using the other hand to turn off the kitchen lights, open the bedroom door, and ward off any possible negative elements. Gobble up your noodles while scrambling for the new pirated DVDs that you just bought the other day and then immediately decide to watch the first one that gets on your grip.

Turn on the TV while pressing the volume down button. Watch a movie and suppress every noise that your elicited reactions are producing. You will then realize that while the credits are rolling and you are wondering how exactly the movie ended, the lonely light of the day is turning this one into an ironically dim one. Smoke. Shave. Go to shower. And start your daily routine.

Open your social networks. Play online games. Read emails. Chat. Work. Slack off. Work. Eat. Try to stay awake. Play more online games. Wait for the typhoon. Complain that the day is unusually hot. Work. Finish work. Eat. Turn the TV on. Wait for dinner. Try to stay awake. Control yourself from playing. Chat a bit. Blog.

Chances are, there is not enough energy left for you to type without incurring a lot of errors and to think of something substantial to share. Probably because your thoughts are warped by the image of an elephant giving birth and struggling to make her little baby breathe, step up, and start the new day ahead.

Recently, I have been given assignments that concern making money online. I was able to research on it with interest, and now I am thinking of doing the same. Why not, I have written a number of articles about it since last week. Besides, I think I should practice what I preach.

To sum up everything that I was able to gather as regards to making money online through blogging, one should feature five things in his blog. These are advertisements, social bookmarks, affiliate links, RSS feeds, and opt-in boxes. In my case, I only have the fourth feature, which is doing wonders in my Facebook account. I do not have advertisements because these are stripped off in free WordPress blogs. I also do not have the social bookmark icons because again, a free WordPress blog would not allow me to modify the CSS file of my blog. I would have to upgrade in order for me to work my way around advertising and social bookmarking.

I also do not have an opt-in box for visitors to leave their names and email addresses for freebies. Heck, I do not even know what freebie to give them. A newsletter about my so-called life? Free pieces of advice? Well, no. I just can’t deal with that. So that leaves me with the last feature, which are affiliate links.

Affiliate marketing allows you to gain some commission for every sales transaction that you close in through your referrals. Sounds good, but it is a lot tougher than it seems. First, you would have to choose an affiliate program that you think pays the best. Next, you would have to choose products that will be featured in your blog. As much as possible, these products should bear some relevance with your blog’s content.

If I were to apply this to my blog, what possible product is there that is relevant to all my whining and complaining? The only thing that strikes me at the moment of writing this post is a bottle of antidepressants. These come with a prescription, so maybe I should sell them illegally. Illegal transactions always make the filthiest millionaires in this planet.

In any way, one should realize that personal blogs are not for sale.

This is more of a test post than a blog post. I am just testing the limits of my current favorite browser, Flock. I am typing this post with it. The social web browser basically feels like Mozilla Firefox, and for a person who is a fan of social networks, Flock definitely has the edge. The consolidation of your various accounts makes you updated with almost everything, from Facebook to Twitter, from your mailbox to your bookmarks, and from your media to your blogs.

Anyway, I did not intend to discuss the capabilities of Flock in this post. I just want to tell people that I just woke up. Recently, I have been waking up at around past 3 PM. This is because I usually sleep after 6 AM. In addition to that, I do not have much energy for anything. I just lie around, sit, eat, drink coffee, and clean my ears with cotton swabs until they literally bleed. Perhaps the only substantial thing that I do lately is wash the dishes every other day.

I cannot even write like my old self. I am getting kind of tired, recently writing about making money online. If the projects assigned to me were of different topics, I can still work fine. But I don’t like online business. I don’t see myself making money online.

Perhaps it is because currently, the Internet is my life, so profiteering from it would kind of feel like exploitation.

Six months. This period of time is a painfully long one for me not to blog. I have been opening my blog accounts every now and then, but I haven’t been doing anything aside from that. I have been so eager to blog back all this time, but guess what? A lot of things held me back.

My blogging life was almost extinguished once I finished college. You might be wondering why the case is such. It’s because I got a job as a content writer. I either had no time to write for my blog or had no energy to do so. Now, I think I can manage to write for a living and write for myself at the same time.

And oh, I was also confused as to which blogging software to use. I was ready to use Blogger a few weeks back, but I found out that the people from Blogger can delete anyone’s blog at their will without warning. I also posted a poll among my so-called friends at Facebook to see which blogging software they think is the best.

No one participated. Oh well, I guess I really am blogging for myself.